Wow. After everyone assumed Charlie Batch wouldn’t even make the team this summer, here he is shredding the undefeated Buccaneers with a three-digit passer rating. The defense was dominant for yet another week, giving up one touchdown in garbage time. We shouldn’t read too much into a win against Tampa Bay, but as it stands, there’s one less undefeated team after that game. After the jump, our second (!) real recap of the season!
FIRST QUARTER
The New York Football Giants take the opening kickoff from Rob Bironas in the end zone for a touchback. Eli Manning and his offense step onto the field to begin their first drive of the game.
Then CBS starts showing the Steeler game to the fans in Pittsburgh. Batch throws an interception and Tampa sets up around their own 30. William Gay makes a tackle and jumps up and does his, “I didn’t fail at something” dance. They come away with a field goal. 3-0.
Let’s try this again: Batch and the offense set up shop at the 23. 3-and-out, punt. Downed at the ten. Tampa goes three and out again. El takes it inside Bucs territory.
Two years after the trend swept over the NFL, the Steelers run a play in the Wildcat offense. Antwaan Randle El takes the snap, flips it to Antonio Brown on the reverse, who flips it to Mike Wallace. The play goes for a loss. Would have liked to see the Whisenhunt-reverse-pass play there. But you know what’s even better than the Whisenhunt double reverse pass? Chuck Batch airing it out waaaaaay downfield to Mike Wallace in the end zone. Wallace still has to slow down and let the ball catch up. 7-3. Awesome.
A good run is negated by penalty but the Bucs eventually get their first first down of the game on a pass to Keyshawn Johnson Mike Williams. Ike Taylor shows off his spatula-hands and drops a ball that hits him in the hands down the sidelines.
LeGarrette Blount is huge, just throwing it out there. Drive, drive, drive. Josh Freeman knows what he’s doing. Woodley gets his hand on a ball and Kellen Winslow (of all people!) makes a one-handed grab on the sideline.
SECOND QUARTER
Freeman fires a missle out the back of the end zone. No idea why. 3rd & goal. The defense has done a lot of bending but they still don’t break. Tampa kicks another field goal, 7-6.
Remember Stefan Logan? Antonio Brown certainly doesn’t. After a respectable kick return, “Rocket” Rashard busts through for a 15 yard gain on first down.
Charlie Batch makes me look like a fool for calling him an old man when he scrambles and eludes defenders on his way downfield. 24 yards on the ground? That’s more yards than he gained altogether last week. Heath Miller reminds everyone he’s awesome with a 21-yard reception inside the 5. Mendenhall brings back memories of Mike Alstott in Tampa Bay. Touchdown. 14-6.
Another big run is negated by penalty for Tampa Bay, then Freeman fails to notice his RB in the flat and takes a big hit in the pocket. Mike Williams gets spun around on a tackle and hands the ball to Ryan Clark. That’ll go as a fumble for Tampa.
Remember when Kellen Winslow made a beastly catch on a deflection in the first quarter? Mike Wallace does it in the end zone. Love the play call after a turnover. Huuuuuge play. 21-6. Aqib Talib doesn’t even know what his name is after that.
Keyaron Fox takes a personal foul penalty. Iffy call, but it’s the first against the Steelers all game so whatever. LaMarr Woodley gets held and the ref just stares at it. Freeman scrambles, sees Jerramy Stevens downfield, but can’t believe Jerramy Stevens is still in the NFL so he runs for 3 yards instead of letting Stevens drop it or fall out of bounds or something.
Redman and Mendenhall are both in the backfield. An excellent formation leads to Rashard running for a first down. Pouncey is always around the football, blocking anything he can. Randle El makes a diving catch downfield for a big gain on 3rd & 7.
Hines Ward makes his second appearance of the season with a first down. With 23 seconds left, Batch outwaits the defense. Hines Ward is wide open in the end zone. Batch to Ward for the touchdown? Is this 2006? 28-6.
HALFTIME
This 3D video trend sucks. Do they even remember Spy Kids 3D? How can Sony possibly expect everyone to want to watch their stupid TVs with stupid paper glasses on? Call me when we actually have 3D holograms that I can just watch. And when someone actually produces content for it.
Also, the NFL Gamecenter declared the Steelers scored a safety to end the half. Someone’s drunk.
THIRD QUARTER
Charlie Batch is the whitest black quarterback in history. He stands there and watches the kickoff team give up a 37 yard return. Jeff Reed is glad he didn’t have to pretend to try to tackle someone. Willie Gay comes in on the blitz, Freeman can’t hear the footsteps. Sacked. The Bucs still can’t get anything going.
Mendenhall’s YPC average is awesome. Heath blocks downfield cause he’s a team player. Things like that get you named captain. Speaking of awesome, Batch has a hundred years to find Isaac Redman, but he’s stopped short of the first down. Mike Tomlin wants the offense to break Tampa’s back on 4th down but the Bucs finally get a stop. Great call anyway. No idea why the whole bench wasn’t in agreement.
Nick Eason and Ziggy Hood wreak havoc on back-to-back plays. 3rd & 19. Freeman feels the pressure and overthrows his receiver. How are these guys 2-0?
Ike Taylor gets into some funny business on a punt. Didn’t even know he played on special teams anymore. There is a white man named Lynch wearing a number in the 40s for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. They should play him. Mendenhall goes untouched for 34 yards on the next drive but has to step out of bounds. The offense stalls in the red zone and the Steelers settle for a field goal. 31-3.
Ryan Clark gets shaken up but walks off the field. Earnest Graham breaks a few tackles and torches the defense but falls down inside the 20. Just a lapse by the defense there.
FOURTH QUARTER
Brett Keisel returns an interception for a touchdown. I don’t even have anything clever to say. Brett Keisel caught a deflected ball and ran 79 yards for a touchdown, complete with a juke on Josh Freeman. Expect that football to go on Brett’s fireplace mantle at home. 38-6.
The defense goes into cruise control and gives Freeman whatever he wants underneath. Polamalu is hanging out on the sidelines and makes a sweet jumping catch on a ball thrown out of bounds. The crowd loves it. Also nice to see them giving Polamalu a rest now that the team is obviously going to win by a ton. No need to endanger your best player when you don’t need him.
Isaac Redman starts churning out the yards. Ronde Barber has to feebly tackle Mendenhall by his jersey. Batch wastes a Steelers chant and throws an interception. Probably just did it to be nice to Tampa’s players. Just the kind of guy he is.
Josh Johnson is in for the Bucs and no one cares about stopping the clock anymore. Stevenson Sylvester drags him to the turf. It is now officially a preseason game and Johnson is marching right down the field. The Steelers have a goal line stand against Graham and Blount at the one yard line, but Blount finally punches it in on 4th down and literally gets up dancing as though he matters. Yeah buddy, it took you three tries to move the ball six inches. You must be something else. Go punch out Jeff Reed or something.
Batch comes out in the victory formation. Polamalu at tailback, always just in case. Three kneel-downs later, Tampa Bay is 2-1 and The Pittsburgh Steelers are undefeated.
- Undefeated through three weeks.
- Hard to believe Batch may have been the answer all along. Even if it’s only one game against a weak team.
- Baltimore next week.
