This game played out the way we expected, really. Neither offense got any touchdowns. There were hits, turnovers, and bad blood. So while that one annoying Titans fan you know spends the rest of the day trying to show you that picture of LenDale White stepping on a terrible towel (to which you should just repsond, “Oh yeah, 2008, you guys won the Superbowl that year, right?”) we as Steeler fans should take a step back and look at where we are. The team is 2-0 with no offensive production at all and the Titans are now officially a game-and-a-half behind Pittsburgh. You never know when that half game might come in handy.
The only negative you can take away from this game is the lack of scoreboard domination. When your turnover ratio is +6, you should win by six touchdowns, not one possession. Dixon doesn’t look like he can really run a pro offense, and Batch was predictably unspectacular in relief duty. But at worst, we’ll be looking at a .500 record when Ben comes back. It’s hard to complain if that’s the worst we can do from here on out. Only two more games without an offense. One against Baltimore, and one against Tampa Bay. Looking ahead, we’ve got a lot to look forward to. But after the jump, we can look back at what is finally the first full recap of the 2010 season.
FIRST QUARTER
How are the Steelers going to score against the Tennessee defense? How about returning the opening kickoff for a touchdown? Mewelde Moore on the reverse to Antonio Brown. No one can catch him. 7-0 right out of the gate.
Titans fumble on the ensuing kickoff. Steelers recover. What a start. A pass is dropped and some Titan decided to pick it up and try to run. Hines Ward goes to tackle him and everyone decides to fight him. No clue what the Titans have been thinking about so far.
Dixon gets sacked and fumbles. Who else but Heath Miller in on the tackle. A minute in and we’ve had two turnovers and a touchdown.
The Titans call two straight timeouts. Whoops, can’t do that. Delay of game. The defense holds in the red zone and the Titans take the field goal. 7-3.
Patrick Bailey makes a special teams tackle for the Titans. Weird feeling.
Steelers go 3-and-out. Sepulveda has to make a special teams tackle. Not cool, guys.
Lawrence Timmons stonewalls Chris Johnson. In case you weren’t aware, Johnson is apparently the single greatest football player to ever touch a football. He is reaching Brett Favre levels of hype around the league.
Too bad Vince Young is a still their quarterback. Polamalu reads him like a map. Picked off, touchback. Troy’s two-for-two this season.
Mendenhall gets away with a few nice runs on the ensuing drive. Dixon scrambles, Matt Spaeth puts a Sweed-block on Michael Griffin. He leaves the field hurt.
Dixon mishandles a snap, somehow Mike Wallace swoops in and recovers it out of a pile of Titans. Great reaction by Wallace.
SECOND QUARTER
3rd & 14: Dixon takes off on a designed QB run. Finally, let’s use this guy as he can be used. Not a first down but it’s an easier field goal for Skippy. 10-3.
Titans go 3 and out because Troy Polamalu can tackle the almighty Chris Johnson.
Charlie Batch takes the field. Fumbles the snap.
Did Dixon get hurt or did he get pulled for playing badly? Somehow Charlie Batch manages to not complete a pass to Heath Miller. Punt. Does Randle El start the next series?
Batch goes to work. Somehow Tony Hills is playing left tackle. How are the Steelers ahead? They have no real QB, a dehydrated left tackle, then a dehydrated right tackle, and they’re still ahead 10-3. Somewhere, Batch overthrows Wallace on third down and Sepulveda punts.
Chris Johnson doesn’t score an 85-touchdown because his center decides to hold Chris Hoke. Bawww. Three and out. Antonio Brown pulls some witchcraft magic on the punt return and takes it into Titans territory.
Again Batch somehow fails to complete a pass to Heath. No idea how he keeps doing that.
Chris Johnson fumbles because he is the single greatest football player to ever grace us with his almighty presence. We are all truly humbled by his incredible abilities.
Batch doesn’t throw a TD to Mike Wallace due to a holding call.
That’s one each way now. Reed kicks a last-second field goal. 13-3. The opposite of how Tennessee will finish this season under the leadership of Vince Young and THE ALMIGHTY GLORY OF CJ2K.
HALFTIME
THIRD QUARTER
Bryant McFadden awkwardly tackles CJ’s leg. He gets up slowly. Steeler Nation approves. But since he’s a divine being, he stays in the game and gets tackled for a loss. Vince Young is asleep at the wheel. The announcers call that “mobility.” I call it “not paying attention to receivers and realizing you are being blitzed.” He scrambles again and gets hit from three different sides.
Punts are traded. The Titans have the ball again and it just doesn’t get any easier for them. Can three players share a sack? The Titans O-line is out to lunch, everyone gets a jailbreak on Vince Young, and he gets flipped over and headplanted into the turf. I almost expected a flag just for how intense that sack was.
Some Titan finally gets actually flagged for jumping offside but Mendenhall makes a nice gain anyway. The drive falls apart early on though. Punt, put the defense back out.
How bout dem Titans. James Harrison dominates Vince Young and Byron Leftwich’s roster space recovers the fumble. Kerry Collins warms up on the sidelines. Isaac Redman, meanwhile, is a demon on 3rd & 1. Trai Essex goes down. Cortland Finnegan punches Mike Wallace in the face. Naturally, the Steeler offense does close to nothing.
FOURTH QUARTER
I hope Jeff Reed is your fantasy kicker, cause he’s doing work while we play without an offense. 16-3.
Titans fans cheer for Kerry Collins. Vince Young cries somewhere.
Polamalu busts into the backfield and gets in on the “humiliate Titans QBs” action and sacks Kerry Collins. Bryant McFadden says, “Hey Troy, I can do that from all the way over here!” As he steals an errant throw away from some other nobody who catches passes in Tennessee.
Good to have B-Mac back. Good to have the Titans’ offense back on the sideline.
The Steelers have no left tackles. Punt. Touchback. Gunners gotta track the ball when it’s in the air.
Whatev, the defense is on another planet right now. Long story short, it’s 3rd & 24 for Tennessee. Yeah, maybe next time. Punt.
Grind mode enabled. Run-up-the-middle. Run-up-the-middle. Heath takes a hit. Sepulveda punts 59 yards just to remind the Titans how much the Patriots beat them by last season.
Collins fumbles on the next play. Mike Ditka has an erection watching this defense. The offense does nothing but nobody cares. Field goal. 19-3. Titans have had seven turnovers. Seven.
Their kick returner runs sideways. Stoned. Troy tells CJ2k to talk to the hand. The defense starts giving up garbage passing yards.
Everyone is getting tackled in bounds. Collins’ offensive surge consists of three whole consecutive completions. The front 7 is getting tired but the DBs pick up the hitting. I mean, it’s the first time all day anyone has been catching footballs near them. Troy makes that play where he jumps over the offensive line and sacks the QB before he even stands up.
The Steelers finally surrender their first TD of the season to Nate Washington. The try for two points is good. The hands team fails to recover the onside kick. Why is this an actual game again? 19-11.
Nate Washington drops a ball in the end zone. Nice to see him still doing his thing. The Titans take a bunch of false start penalties.
3rd & 20. Collins’ final play is a dump off to the second coming of Christ, Chris Johnson. He gets tackled in bounds. What an unbelievable talent. Tick Tick Tick.
Game.
- Two more games until we get our offense back.
- Tampa next week. We have no idea what they’re about, but they’re 2-0 so we ain’t hating.
- This defense might look better than the ’08 defense.
- Seven turnovers. Seven turnovers. Seven turnovers.
- Chris Johnson carried 16 times for 34 yards. This guy is either way overrated, or the Steelers run defense is really that good.
- Combined CJ’s invisibility in this game, those interceptions look even better. Did they play with 14 guys on the field or what?
- 19-11 is a beautiful score for a football game. A little bit high, but beautiful.
