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Delayed Recap Cause The Internet Eats Posts Sometimes

Man, nothing kills your motivation to recap a game like recapping a game and then seeing the back end of your website glitch up and erase everything.

STEELERS ARE AWESOME, JUMP FOR LAZY RECAP

 


FIRST QUARTER The offense opens up with a bubble screen. Then they try a stretch play left with Isaac Redman. Todd Haley's chief purpose is to raise Steeler fans' blood pressure. Will Johnson made a big catch from the FB position. 30-year-old Ben struggles with pressure more than 27- or 28-year-old Ben did. Suisham field goal.
The Steelers' secondary has trouble getting set on the Jets' first drive. Holmes walks right in front of Ike Taylor and scores. 7-3. That was the last thing Mark Sanchez would do all day. Antonio Brown makes plays. SECOND QUARTER Suisham boots another field goal. 7-6. Larry Foote was kidnapped in the offseason and replaced with a younger and more awesome Larry Foote. Lawrence Timmons slams into Mark Sanchez and gets flagged for a hit to the head. The referee calls it on Ziggy Hood because the replacement officials are embarassing. Timmons got fined $21k for it. The Jets kick a field goal. 10-6. Colin Powell runs straight into Casey Hampton's gut and is never seen again. Jerricho Cotchery takes a giant hit and hold onto the football to set up 1st & goal at the 1. Todd Haley sends the jumbo personnel onto the field to line up and blast it into the end zone. Instead, Ben floats an easy pass to a wide open Heath Miller. 13-10. HALFTIME

Most embarrassing athlete in the NFL has to be Santonio Holmes. Every time he doesn't catch a pass, he gets up asking for a flag. Every time he DOES catch a pass, he gets up asking for a flag. He clearly thinks he doesn't make mistakes and the only way to stop him is to break the rules. He should just sign with the Montreal Canadiens and get it over with.

THIRD QUARTER Phil Simms takes it upon himself to inform us that the Steelers aren't all power-running anymore and they throw the football too. Is there a lazier comment to make about the Steelers? Ben is 30. We have had a functional quarterback for A GOOD LITTLE WHILE NOW.

Mike Wallace beats Antonio Cromartie and scores a TD right in front of his face. 20-10. Tim Tebow comes out for an offensive snap. He takes off for like 25 yards. Then some backup RB gets another first down for the Jets. Ryan Clark snuffs out Shonn Greene for a loss. Sanchez comes back in and the Jets have to punt. Santonio Holmes complains. Some Jet muffs a punt and the Steelers recover. FOURTH QUARTER Ryan Clark lays out Holmes. Totally clean play. Nothing wrong with it. At all. By any measure. The ghost of Tony Corrente possesses one of the scab refs and penalizes the play for no reason at all. Santonio Holmes has the f&@king nerve to complain about not drawing penalties on the next three plays. Maurkice Pouncey gets called for a false start. HOW DOES A CENTER GET CALLED FOR A PROCEDURE PENALTY, EVER. Antonio Brown takes a shot in the ribs to make a play. Santonio Holmes would have dropped it and whined for a penalty. Redman gets some second and third efforts in a pile of bodies and breaks out to walk into the end zone. 27-10. The Steelers' defense eats Mark Sanchez.
stunned
Brian Schaich

About Brian Schaich

Brian studied computer engineering long enough to know he just wanted to talk about sports all day for a living, so that's what he does.

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