Steelers Unveil 2012 Throwbacks; Everyone Simultaneously Vomits

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This photo, apparently taken in a public restroom at the Steelers’ facility, features Isaac Redman sporting the Steelers’ latest money-making venture throwback uniform. It’s a replica of the 1934 Steelers, a team that went 40 freaking years before not being a laughing stock.

We’re not sure if these are supposed to look more like bumble bees or cartoon prison uniforms, but they are so atrocious that they pulled me personally out of my blogging apathy and into a rage-fueled complaining frenzy.

Think of a “yo mama so ugly” joke. Now, replace “yo mama” with “These uniforms” and all the hyperbole is suddenly made valid. Any fan caught owning one of these jerseys must be immediately deported to Cincinnati, where prison stripe uniforms are commonplace and even encouraged.

The immediate public backlash on Twitter from these uniforms is amazing. Like ten people have said they like them, and those ten people are only saying so because they think Isaac Redman will be their friend if they do. (Hint: Isaac Redman is not going to come to your birthday party)

On one hand, these uniforms are actually nauseating. On the other hand, I can’t wait to see them at a home game so I spend an entire recap making bee jokes. But still, did you see that picture? The Green Bay Packers wanted to “honor their history” (a better history, I might add) with their original throwbacks with that weird dot with the numbers and whatnot. Those were easily the most atrocious looking football jerseys anyone had ever seen (Yes, including Eagles blue/gold throwbacks). Now the Steelers are looking to move into first place in the “oh my god what on earth are you wearing” competition.

There’s isn’t a high school football team that would suit up in this. The Florida Everblades wouldn’t even wear something like this, and to drive home what a point that is, the following image is of an ACTUAL UNIFORM that team has worn:

 
God help us all. Regular season schedule later, draft next week. 

Brian Schaich

About Brian Schaich

Brian studied computer engineering long enough to know he just wanted to talk about sports all day for a living, so that's what he does.

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