Hey there, Seattle. It's been a while. Listen, I know we haven't always seen eye-to-eye. We've had our differences. That push-off on Darrell Jackson was iffy, I know. But Jerramy Stevens kept running out of bounds too. I think we can agree that maybe Super Bowl XL wasn't the best game it could have been. It was some bad football and our team just happened to come out on top.
But listen. This isn't about 2005. 2005 was a long time ago, and I'd like us to move past it. Let's bury the hatchet once and for all. I want to extend the olive branch, put our pasts behind us, and start fresh.
This one, right here.
Your Seahawks are still in the playoff race. They've made it to the final four. And here's the thing… They're really fun to watch. I like them. Your quarterback is exciting, and it's easy to root for a guy who was told he's too small to be successful. Marshawn Lynch is our favorite kind of back here in the Steel City. Your defense is smothering. There's a lot we can like about the Seahawks. I mean, sure, Pete Carroll is the head coach and I'm not exactly his number one fan, but that's just a minor detail.
Granted, the rest of the field is comprised of the truly loathsome.
We're definitely not rooting for this whiny prima donna.
Nor will we support Emporer Palpatine over here, obviously.
John Fox… Well he is actually pretty cool. But he's going into a playoff game against the Patriots and has Peyton Manning, so we're assuming he's already out.
But it's not about them, either. It's not [necessarily] about our team also being screwed over by Bill Leavy. It's about you, Seattle. You're a cool place. You gave us cool music. You're one of the chillest cities in America. You've got a great football team this year and the future is bright. I want you to win this Super Bowl. I want to see you beat the 49ers and steamroll the AFC Champion in two weeks. You deserve that much. I want to see your Seattle Seahawks hoist their franchise's first Vince Lombardi Trophy and stand atop the NFL mountain, looking out over all the teams that couldn't reach the ultimate goal this season.
Do it, Seattle. Win the Super Bowl. And maybe, can… can we be friends again?